Tuesday, 1 July 2014

Abster Advice: Body Confidence...

Evening you lovely lot! Today I feel like blogging about something really close to my heart and forgive me for going all 'deep' on you but I really feel like this is something that needs addressing and especially on a platform like blogger where a focus on 'beauty' is so prevalent. 

Every single person I know and will probably ever know has body confidence issue. Me, you reading this, my best friend, the woman who I see walking her dog every day, the ice cream man, that singer you love, my old dance teacher, that guy you see walking out of the gym after a hard core legs sesh... Everyone! You are not alone in feeling the way you may feel about that one/ two/ three etc. parts of your body you wish you had the power to change!

As a young child I was always quite slim, didn't have a care in the world. As soon as I hit about 12 years old and started puberty I started to put on a bit of weight. Looking back at pictures of this time now is actually quite painful for me as that young, pre-teen girl still lives inside me, has feelings and is vulnerable. I'll carry my little chubby younger self around with me all my life. I'd say I was at my 'plumpest' on a holiday over Christmas to Thailand when I was 13. I remember sharing a room with my brother and locking myself in our bathroom and trying on a bikini I had brought on holiday with us. I hated what I saw. I think that is one of my first memories of the impact of body insecurity within myself. I took it off and put my full swim suit back on as well as my smile and got on with it. 

Now, a lot of young girls put weight on before they start their periods which definitely happened to me. However, another factor was I was quite poorly a lot as I didn't know I was lactose intolerant yet. As soon as I found this out I started to lose the weight. This process was very gradual though and up until, I'd say, this year (I'm now 20) I've only began to feel like I'm starting to be really happy with my body and except myself for who I am. And do you know what? I bloody love me! Yeah, they'll always be bits of me that I'll secretly wish were slightly flatter, bigger, slimmer, less wobbly etc. but who the hell actually cares? It's so incredibly easy to get caught up in the 'perfect body' fiasco and work yourself into the ground, hating yourself when one day, you will look at your older, grayer self in the mirror, wishing and wishing you had loved and taken care of your, beautiful, younger self. 

Something that has really hit me recently is the ever-increasing bullying of slimmer girls. For example, on Facebook I constantly see pictures of, what I think are, healthy looking, naturally/ genetically slim, beautiful, young girls with annotated, edited photos who someone has taken and written things like 'unnatural' and 'anorexic' all over with lines pointing to their collar bones/ ribs etc. The saddest thing is many young girls are being made to feel 'wrong' and 'disgusting' for the way they, naturally, are. Over many years now people have fought and fought for larger, curvy girls to be left alone and not targeted for their 'differences'/ bullied in school for something they cannot help. The detrimental effect this type of bullying has on  young people (I say 'people' as it effects girls and boys/ men and women) is irreversible and can never really be erased. This body bullying is now happening to slimmer girls/boys and, I fear, will always happen towards some kind of sectioned out body type. 

I find this so heart-breaking as it's happening to my beautiful younger sister. Jess has been my pride and joy since she was born in 2000. Now, she has grown into this insanely stunning 14 year old who is naturally and beautifully her own shape and size. However, she is now one of these many many young girls being told things like 'You look like an 8 year old boy...', 'You're anorexic!', 'Do you eat?!', 'So you're gonna go throw that up now, yeah?'... And so on and so forth. I can't even fathom what this is doing to her self-esteem and developing image of herself. The harsh reality is Jess is helpless to this as she cannot fight this one. She just has to hold her head up high and be equipt with the knowledge that she is being targeted out of other, insecure, spiteful girls who are plain jealous of her. To be honest, I'm bloomin' jealous of her!! But do I go and attempt to pummel her self-esteem into the ground to make myself feel better?... Errrr no!! Just because a person may have an insecurity about them-self gives them no right to attempt to install insecurity in another person so to make themselves feel better. 

I guess the 'moral' of this post, if there is one, would be kindness is free and negative, nastiness always has a price, almost always paid by the 'consumer'. Beauty, truly, comes from within - it sounds so corny but it's true!! A person may be stunning but when they open their mouth and you witness a nasty attitude, a cold shoulder or sarcastic whiff, I feel automatically disgusted by that person, not matter how 'beautiful' they may be. For me, their 'beauty' disappears in a split second. 

Be kind. Be loving. Be accepting. Be beautiful. And bloomin' love yourself for who you are. You'll be greatly loved in return.

This video is from two of my favourite YouTubers, Zoella and SprinkleofGlitter, and they talk to and show you, first hand, about this issue and offer some fantastic understanding and advice...

Thank you for taking the time to read this ramble; it was all from my heart.

I love you guys so much & thank you for always making me feel fabulous!

x Abster x

Disclaimer: the above views are mine alone and mentioned people in this post gave their consent.


  1. I can't help but comment on this post, it just speaks so directly to my heart. People seem to dismiss that mocking someone for being 'skinny' can be just as destructive as mocking someone for being 'fat'. Weight is, more often than not, unlikely to be a personal choice.

    Thank you for writing this post x

    1. That's so lovely to hear Belle - thank you for reading my post!
      To know that it meant something to you means the world to me.


  2. Waw wonderfully written, it is terrible how people make fun of others bodies, it has happened to me as well, lest just say it nicely, I have a more curvy body type and I have heard lots of nasty comments, but as long as a person is healthy it`s all fine, both you and your sister are beautiful.


    1. Monika, you are so beautiful - don't forget it!! Thank you sweetie xox